Why do i think alot? is is wrong to think about death and trouble?

i think about trouble and dying... it may seem normal because im Emo... most people dont understand me... like when i ask a question i get a whole freaking lecture!!! i hate it when people look at me and say whats wrong... is it wrong to think about death?... but over the years i have benn cutting and randomly crying... i think deep down inside i want to die but my other half just wants to live... to be honest i really dont understand my self... im scrared because if i think to much i will find my answer at the bottom of bottle or gun on my head... please if there is anyone out there that can help me or give me advice... that would help alot...